How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
