he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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