I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
