I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
