she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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