your parents love me but you hate me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
