hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
