Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
