I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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