Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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