just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
