don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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