she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
