he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
