No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
