i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
