I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize