I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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