Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
