God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
