please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
