I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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