Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize