You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
