Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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