Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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