i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the condom got lost in my hair
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize