Grow some girl-balls and come out already
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
