Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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