Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
