we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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