My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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