You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
