So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
