I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
