It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
