dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
