I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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