Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
