The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
