Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You work out of a Hotel?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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