Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
