Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
