she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
