I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
the liver wants what the liver wants
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize