I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
