Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
