as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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