take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize