pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
