Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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