Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
