it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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