Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
