Fuck appropriateness.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
