3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
