I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
