maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My vagina just clenched in fear
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
