Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
