She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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