I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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