That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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