is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
