Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
