he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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