Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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