Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
