somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
