Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
