Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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