Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
