why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sext me about skeletons
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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